


The Way I Feel Inside

by Shadowofdarkness22



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, M/M, Merlin lives like he was SUPPOSED to, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Regret, Singing!Eggsy, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 12:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowofdarkness22/pseuds/Shadowofdarkness22
Summary: Eggsy started singing, his beautiful voice ringing through Harry’s ears as the pain in his voice pulled at Harry’s heartstrings. “He  volunteered, surprising everyone. No one knew he could sing.”It was Eggsy's wedding and Harry was a fool.





	The Way I Feel Inside

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting for Kingsman... This story probably sucks, but considering I wrote this all out instead of being stuck I say its a good thing. Writers block is a real bitch. 
> 
> I was heavily inspired by the fact that Eggsy totally can sing because his actor can SO WHY NOT THROW SINGING INTO THIS. I'm sure there are plenty of fics with Harry learning Eggsy can sing and finding it just as beautiful as the rest of us. So why not add one more??
> 
> I also apologize in advance. This isn't exactly a happy ending story. 
> 
> Songs used to write this fic: 
> 
> [The Way I Feel Inside - Sing Movie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o7VE30ptHo)  
> [Fools - Troye Sivan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfD96yRT8cs)

Harry Hart has been to quite a few reception parties and weddings throughout his entire Kingsman career. Most of them were for missions of course, with the end goal of taking care of his target and getting what information he needed. Eggsy’s wedding would have a lot more flair, but since he had married into a royal family and became a prince the wedding was more up to their standards. Perhaps he and Princess Tilde will have a smaller party among friends that will suit their tastes.

“Already at the bar I see.” Merlin said as he rolled over to where Harry was nursing his drink of choice. Harry hummed in response, taking another sip as Eggsy and Tilde moved to the center of the room to begin their first dance as a married couple. Eggsy was grinning wide and Tilde looked beautiful and happy as well. He was happy for them. “Must be a bit weird, seeing Eggsy all grown up despite the fact that it seems like only yesterday he had been training for Kingsman.” Merlin commented, watching as the couple shared a kiss.

“Yes.” Harry said, swallowing the lump in his throat. To think that two years went by since he got shot in the face and he missed all of Eggsy’s accomplishments. “He’s his own man now, perfectly able to handle himself in any situation.” Harry remarked cooly despite the strange twinge of regret in the pit of his stomach. The crowd suddenly cheered as Elton John appeared on stage ready to perform. Eggsy ended up being called on the stage with a microphone thrown in his face. He shook his head, trying to decline but Elton insisted, already playing on the piano ‘I'm Still Standing’. Unable to get himself out of the situation Eggsy just shrugged and started singing, causing people to clap and cheer at the unexpected talent.

Harry froze in shock as Eggsy continued to sing, getting into his performance. He looked at Merlin who only nodded, already knowing. “It was a surprise for us too when we found out.” Merlin said pulling out his clipboard and tapping a video into Harry’s glasses. It was a video of Eggsy singing at a fancy club of sorts, his nervousness evident by the look on his face. “It was a undercover mission and we needed someone to take the place of the singer while another agent took care of a target.”

Video Eggsy started singing, his beautiful voice ringing through Harry’s ears as the pain in his voice pulled at Harry’s heartstrings. “He volunteered, surprising everyone. No one knew he could sing.”

_Should I try to hide_  
_the way I feel inside  
_ _my heart for you?_

“The mission was done after we had stopped Valentine. I wanted Eggsy to take some time off since he had quite literally saved the world, but he refused. Saying he didn’t need time off and that there was still a lot of work to do. I realized too late it was because he was mourning you that he was working himself so hard.” Merlin said with a sigh, watching as Eggsy continued to sing and have a good time on the stage.

_In your mind_  
_Could you ever be_  
_Really close to me?  
_ _I can tell the way you smile._

The way Eggsy was singing was like he had so many regrets, and perhaps he did. His eyes in the video looked to be welled with tears and he was holding the microphone close like it was the only thing keeping himself together. Harry felt his heart hurt in his chest and his fist clenched to his side unable to reach out and comfort the boy who was obviously missing him so much.

_I would say the things  
_ _I want to say tonight._

“I had a girlfriend.” Eggsy told him, leaning on the bar counter while Harry was busy making their martinis. Harry glanced up at him, a strange feeling washing over him that he hid well. “I lost her, and it broke me.” Eggsy said, looking far too open and vulnerable. He obviously cared a lot for Tilde and who was Harry to deny him such a feeling. “And now if this mission fails she’s gonna die.”

Harry took a long breath and focused his attention on making their martini. “When I was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind?” Harry asked and Eggsy looked at him curiously. “It was absolutely… nothing.” Harry said causing Eggsy’s expression to change to confusion. “I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind.” he said, finally looking at Eggsy.

_But ‘til I can see  
_ _That you’d really care for me_

Lies.

When Valentine held that gun to his head, all he could think about was Eggsy. Beautiful and young Eggsy whose last words of him would be of disappointment. Harry never regretted anything more than that last moment where he thought he would die with Eggsy thinking he failed him. “I'm sorry.” Eggsy said and Harry merely walked around the bar and handed him his drink.

“Don’t be. Just know that having something to lose, is what makes life worth living.”

_I’ll keep trying to hide  
_ _The way I feel inside._

It was the last piece of advice he would give Eggsy and now that he was married, their meetings would become less frequent and soon cease altogether. Eggsy looked at him from the stage and smiled brightly at him. Harry smiled back and raised his drink in congratulation before Eggsy got swamped with other important guests. His heart ached.

“Merlin, I am such a fool.” Harry said causing the other man to look at him in pity. Harry drank the rest of his drink and decided it was better this way.

This way, Eggsy was living his life the way he should. Not with an old fool like Harry.  



End file.
